Some thoughts that crossed my mind as I listened to Watch Out!, the latest from Chapel Hill N.C.’s Mega Colossus.
- I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to run through the sprinkler and play “Minja Turtles” in the backyard with my boy.
- Driving fast is cool.
- I think my daughter might be the funniest little thing ever invented.
- I miss my friend Bill. Let’s crack open some cold ones and crank Thunder and Lightning sometime soon, man.
- Isn’t it so great that babes exist, and sometimes one will decide she’s okay with you circling her particular orbit.
- Life absolutely whips ass.
But the key piece of what I guess you might call meta-cognition about all these insights is that I believe these are all well and truly heavy metal emotions.
Release date: March 6, 2026. Label: Cruz del Sur Music
Yes, I know what the black mirror has shown us about that state of the world – a lot of it is true and hard to bear. And even beyond that, I know that some days the kids will get sick. The bills will pile up. The babe will look askance at my ways. The not-so fast driving car will need service and more and more forever onward. And here I’ll just state for record that in the time between the writing of the previous sentence and this one I had a weekend full of short-tempered arguments, crying children, shat undies, free-time flayed alive by work obligations and a dozen hours enduring Ludovico Technique: Endless Global Conflict Edition.
And yet … I still kinda do think being alive absolutely whips ass. And I think Watch Out! is basically a heavy metal album about smartening up to that fact and acting accordingly.
To those who are now thinking “anyone who is just coming to the realization that heavy metal does occasionally shoot a full color spectrum rainbow out of its keister must not listen to very much European Power Metal,” I will just say:
1) Yes, that is absolutely the case re: me.
2) If the boys in Mega Colossus do, that’s not terribly evident on this particular recording.
Nevertheless, what we have here is a high-spirited guitar album that proudly asserts its aversion to down-tuning, harsh vocals and bad vibes.
Both sonically and lyrically, this is a pretty damn American recording. The peppy double whole-step melodies bring to mind the catalog of Slough Feg, the knack for a tricksy twin-guitar breakdown bridge conjures Twisted Tower Dire’s Make it Dark album, and the aw-shucks vocal galavanting bring me back to the early days of Unleash the Archers. But I think what resonates as distinctly stateside-y about Watch Out! is that rather than asserting “We will never die,” as some of the sunnier EUPMsters might, the message here seems to be “on a long enough timeline we’re all cooked, but let’s get some licks in while we can.”
Consider this from “Good Hunting,”
“When the odds are too great for goodbyes
‘Good Hunting’ we say
In the darkness that waits between stars
We can’t promise tomorrow”
Unlike some of the more vicious material you or I may be apt to spin, this one won’t necessarily amp you up to run through a brick wall. But it may help you reach a moment of zen during which you’ll come to accept and even embrace the endless series of brick walls lined up to run through you on any given day.
After tone setting curtain jerkers “The Bad Thing” and “Battlefront,” the album’s first true showstopper comes via “Tag in Your Friend,” a wrasslin’ themed ode to letting your pals get your six complete with cries of “this is awesome!” and references to tag-team greats of old. This one’s a much needed corrective for a socially maladjusted soul such as myself, all too eager to assert that “I’m here if you need me,” but stubbornly convinced that street can’t run both ways.
Plus, it’s a rocker, baby.
“Tag,” flexes the band’s buffed up songwriting chops, winding through a series of verses, pre-choruses, post-chorus breakdowns and solo breaks without demonstrating symptoms of what musicological professionals have dubbed “through-composed piece of shit syndrome.” This is partly thanks to almost every guitar part on this song sounding lovingly labored over; hardly a riff, turnaround or transition here gets the galloping solo-bed treatment. But more than that, Mega Colossus, now five full lengths and three EPs deep into their career, are savvy enough to circle back to the fist pumping chorus via a well-placed bridge.
More than simply extolling the virtues of good times, Mega Colossus does the work of makin’ em on Watch Out!
“The Halls of Mystikos” has, by my count, at least three riff sections sturdy enough to carry entire tracks on their own very broad shoulders. The last of ‘em, which breaks out of its cage following the final chorus, is a testament to the kind of joy that can only be created by two Super Guitar Bros. ending up in the very same corner of the universe during the same tiny sliver of human history. And how ‘bout that laid back groove that locks into place about two minutes into “Here Lies You?” Bugs me when players this accomplished get away with something so simple; save some for the rest of us, pal.
I’ve a sense mileage may vary for the average fan in the trad/heavy demo that Mega Colossus aims to reach. After all, we’re living in a world where we’ve whipped up a term like “toxic positivity” to describe the effort to get through the various indignities of daily life with a smile on our face and hope in our heart. Mega Colossus earnestly believe “you can do it!” That ain’t for everyone. And, look, there’s some valid critiques of the sound, too. I don’t fault the Mega men for striking a positive note, but even at a compact 7 songs across 44 minutes, I wouldn’t blame you for requesting they pluck a few others. A flat fifth here? A chromatic march there? Maybe.
But for yours truly? This one’s found its way into the driving rotation as the days have gotten a little brighter, and I’m sure glad it’ll be there when they get darker, too.
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