Set Me Free, In My Life


As I celebrate my 60th birthday, I felt compelled to share a project that I hope inspires others to consider embarking on using their own artistic skills, whether it be through music, writing, drawing, painting, photo or video compilation, recording of a verbal narrative, or any other creative means to create a lasting tribute to their own life.
I’d like to start with a quote oft attributed to Mark Twain, “reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” While this blog is a self-penned tribute of my life, I, at least at the time of this writing, am far from dead. And I not only felt compelled to share it while I am still here among my family and friends, I wanted it to hopefully serve as an inspiration for others to document their story and share their talents and gifts with those you love before they leave this planet. It could be through music, as it is for me, but for others could mean artwork, song, poetry, prose, writing, or recording what had significant meaning while walking this journey we call life.

Every man’s life ends the same way.
It is only the details of how he lived and how he died
that distinguish one man from another
– Ernest Hemingway
The idea for its genesis came a few years ago when creating my mom’s 80th birthday tribute blog and playlist. In celebration of her birthday, I wanted to share stories, memories, photos, and music of importance over her lifetime. And it was great to share while she was (and is) still alive, so not only could she reminisce and be aware of how much she has meant to so many, but also so she could share memories and stories herself. So I thought who better to create a tribute for someone than by that very someone, perhaps similar to people who pen their own obituaries, though this is most commonly done by those suffering a terminal illness.
So why not create such a tribute and legacy while alive and well, as we are on the back 9 of our lives? Beyond the sorrow of the loss of a loved one, it is also sad to have a family member or friend pass and not having a record of some of the history and stories of their life. Again, this is best captured while they are still alive, alert, and in control of their cognitive faculties.
As those who know me are aware, to quote Einstein, “I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” Thus it is no surprise as I contemplate my time on earth and my own mortality, I embarked upon the creation of two playlists near and dear to my heart.
The first playlist In My Life is more or less the soundtrack of my life, the songs that circle round and round in my head and on my turntable, cassette deck (no 8-tracks), radio, CD player, iTunes, and Spotify streaming. To paraphrase the introduction to the Days of Our Lives, “like songs through the speakers, so is the music of our lives.”
The second playlist titled Set Me Free chronicles the story of my life and eventual death (and no, not yet, but perhaps in non-morbid anticipation). it starts with spiritual songs of great importance to me that helped me find meaning, purpose, and comfort in this time I spend on this planet. It continues with songs chronicling my life journey from childhood to where I am now. The playlist concludes with songs hopefully of comfort to those I will ultimately leave behind.
My blog won’t be a static document, nor are the playlists immutable. It can all be adjusted and expanded upon as future happenings contribute to my life journey. This initial narrative related to these playlists is in celebration of my 60th year on this planet. But I am over time working on a more detailed chronical to accompany the playlists as a personal remembrance of more specific memories of my life journey, ultimately for my family and friends I will leave behind, though such reminiscing is more than I feel appropriate to share at this point in my life.
Starting with the first playlist, In My Life is a compilation of my favorite artists and songs, with my very favorite artists getting greater attention. Reflecting my perspective on music in my life are the first two songs – “In My Life” and “Remember When The Music”:
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remainAll these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I’ve loved them allIn My Life – The Beatles
Remember when the music
Came from wooden boxes strung with silver wire
And as we sang the words it would set our minds on fire
For we believed in things, and so we’d singRemember when the music
Brought us all together to sand inside the rain
And as we joined our hands we’d meet in the refrain
For we had dreams to live, and we had hopes to giveDon’t you remember when the music
Was the best of what we dreamed of for our children’s time?
And as we sang we worked, for we knew time was just a line
A gift we saved, a gift the future gaveRemember When The Music – Harry Chapin
It then moves to some of my earliest memories of music. I sang “Puff the Magic Dragon” in preschool at 3 or 4 years old. Joy To The World,” “American Pie,” “Copacabana” and “Jesus Christ Superstar” were among the first songs I remember singing along with on the radio – “Jermiah was a bullfrog…”, “A long long time ago…”, “Her name was Lola…”, “Jesus Christ Superstar…” Though it’s a somewhat interesting image of a 5 year old wandering around belting out about some “mighty fine wine” and “whiskey and rye!” A few songs are from our “Columbia Cassette Club” include the Carpenters, John Denver, and the Grease Soundtrack.
Next are songs from among the first albums I ever bought, including Pat Benetar’s Crimes of Passion, Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler, Vangelis’ Chariots of Fire, and Billy Joel’s Turnstiles – actually my 3rd or 4th Billy Joel album, as I was searching for his song “Prelude/Angry Young Man” that he played at my very first concert, but I didn’t know the title of the song nor that album from which it came. There was no Google, Shazam, or Spotify back then.
Continuing with some of my favorite artists, Billy Joel, Elton John, Van Morrison, Genesis/Phil Collins/Peter Gabriel, Steely Dan, Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood including their various iterations, Dire Straits/Mark Knopfler, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Santana, Led Zeppelin, Rush, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, along with many others who shared my musical attention. There are even some instrumental, jazz, and classical selections dear to my heart.
The playlist ends with songs about music and me (which provided the inspiration for an entire previous more detailed playlist), the titles could be the story of my life: “Music And Me,” “Music,” “Listen to the Music”(providing my blog name), “Let the Music Play,” “Don’t Stop The Music,” “Play That Funky Music,” “Dance To The Music,” “Thank You For The Music,” “When The Music’s Over” – Though if Heaven is all it’s meant to be, there must be music there. Why else do angels have harps?!? And to close, one of my very favorite songs, “A Song For You.”
I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I love you for my life, ’cause you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we were together
We were alone, and I was singing my song for youA Song For You – Leon Russell
In contemplating our own mortality, when our life is over, we consider the effects of losing those around us, sometimes seeming before their time, as when my dad died suddenly at 49, and by brother Bob at just 19. I have always maintained that such trials and tribulations of life are difficult enough to navigate with having Faith – I can’t imagine trying to make it through our life journey without Faith.
For those who doubt the existence of God or are angry at God due to the age-old conundrum of why bad things happen to good people, I offer one of my favorite scenes from the Netflix Marvel streaming series “Daredevil.”
God’s plan is like a beautiful tapestry, and the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back, with all the ragged threads and muddy colors. We only get a hint of the true beauty that would be revealed if we could see the whole pattern on the other side as God does
Matt Murdoch to Sister Maggie in Netflix/Disney Daredevil
And in this backdrop of a greater purpose beyond this life, the second playlist starts with a focus on faith, with songs by Christian artists I have enjoyed, many of whom I have seen, mostly through my involvement in youth ministry and annual attendance for many years at SoulFest (a multi-day, multi-stage Christian music festival in New Hampshire). These songs have given me great strength, comfort, and peace over the years.
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus…
You can have all this world
Just give me JesusGive Me Jesus – Jeremy Camp
To everyone who’s lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbyeAnd to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there’s nothing and there is no one
Who can make it rightThere is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to JesusCry Out To Jesus – Third Day
I’m forgiven because You were forsaken
I’m accepted, You were condemned
I’m alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose againAmazing love, how can it be
That You, my King, should die for me?
Amazing love, I know it’s true
And it’s my joy to honor You
In all I do, to honor YouYou Are My King (Amazing Love) – Newsboys
And I feel compelled by the challange to serve others, not only treating other as we wish to be treated, but to care for those less fortunate. Mission work in Mexico, Guatemala, and Haiti, as well as to the underserved in the US through Christian work camps with my church in New Hampshire have been eye opening, rewarding, and inspiring.
Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your worldGo Light Your World – Kathy Troccoli
God’s word and presence has calmed and comforted me when I’ve been sad or afraid, I feel he is always with me, guiding me, protecting me, helping me. Upon the unexpected death of my father at the age of 49, the loss of my brother at the age of just 19, and subsequently enduring the loss of our first pregnancy, God was instrumental in getting me through such trials and tribulations. Looking back, I have truly felt there was no challenge I couldn’t tackle or obstacle I couldn’t overcome with His guidance and help.
When I feel afraid
Think I’ve lost my way
Still you’re there right beside me
And nothing will I fear
As long as you are near
Please be near me to the endThy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path
Thy Word – Amy Grant
I have tried to make my life, my relationships, my role as a son, husband, and father, my jobs, all a prayer to God. I tried to shine His light to all those around me through my attitude, my care, concern, and service. While I can’t say I have always been successful, it has definitely been my intention and effort, and luckily my God is patient and forgiving.
Make my life a prayer to You
I want to do what You want me to
No empty words and no white lies
No token prayers no compromise.I want to shine the light You gave
Through your Son You sent to save us
From ourselves and our despair
It comforts me to know you’re really there.Well I want to thank You know
For being patient with me
Oh it’s so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I’ll have to trust
And just believe what You say
Oh You’re coming again
Coming to take me away.I want to die and let You give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope You gave me
The love that set me free.I want to tell the world out there
You’re not some fable or fairy tale
That I’ve made up inside my head
You’re God the Son
You’ve risen from the dead.Make My Life A Prayer To You – Keith Green
And some comfort and consolation when considering our passing, with a belief that our live beyond this world will be most extraordinary.

Whatever happens, whatever you see
Whatever your eyes tell you has, become of me
This is not, is not the end
I am making, all things new againNew Again – Brad Paisley, Sara Evans
Right now all I can taste are bitter tears
And right now all I can see are clouds of sorrow
But from the other side of all this pain
Is that you I hear, laughing loud and calling out to me?
Saying “See, it’s everything you said that it would be,
And even better than you would believe.
And I’m counting down the days until you’re here with me,
And finally, you’ll see.”
But right now, all I can say is “Lord, how long
Before you come and take away this aching?”
This night of weeping seems to have no end.
But when the morning light breaks through,
We’ll open up our eyes and we will see
It’s everything that He said that it would be
And even better than we would believe
And he’s counting down the days ’til He says “Come with me.”
And finally he’ll wipe every tear from our eyes
And make everything new, just like he promised
Wait and see, just wait and see, wait and see
See – Steven Curtis Chapman
The next portion of the playlist chronicles the various places and happenings in my life of significance. I truly have been blessed with so many wonderful places I’ve been and amazing experiences in my life. I couldn’t ask for better places to live, schools to attend, sports to play, events to experience, locales to travel, and family and friends to spend it all with.
It starts with my childhood in Connecticut, family, vacations, including amusement parks, vacations at the beach, baseball, wrestling, school, friends, memories of many wonderful Christmases, then college at Dartmouth, traveling to Europe, becoming a doctor, meeting my wife, the love of my life, with many a love song in tribute to the significance of that most important heppening in my life, living in Virginia, moving to New Hampshire, having a family, vacations, involvement in youth ministry, musicals, moving to South Carolina, and traveling as empty nesters.
The playlist then shifts to songs encouraging to not take life for granted, as well as songs of comfort and condolence, in hopes of, someday, when I am no longer here, easing the loss of a spouse and father. The playlist ends with a wink
and a smile 
While these playlists are very long, the beauty of digital media is the ability to skip around as needed, and to listen to them over time. I feel if my kids feel they are missing me, they can listen to part of the playlist and feel a little bit closer.
A year or so ago my aunt, my dad’s sister, gave me a very special gift of a pair of my dad’s sunglasses I believe from the ’60s. He had a similar pair even in the ’50s when he was stationed at Aviano Air Force Base in northern Italy. I have a photo of hip wearing them when skiing in Cortina, but I can’t quite believe these are one in the same.

I recently had lenses made with my prescription in his frames, and when I wear them I definitely feel closer to my dad, like a bit of him is with me, even though he has been gone for over 40 years.
Thus the intention of these playlists and blog. I don’t want my kids to feel a need to visit me in some hole in the ground. I’d prefer they could snuggle up on the couch, in a more warm, comfortable, intimate fashion and listen to a song or two or read a story or two and remember their dad and the many wonderful times spent together. I challenge all my family, friends, listeners and readers to find a creative, intimate way to do the same.
So as I look back on these first 6 decades of life, I realize how truly blessed I have been over those years with great love and strength from God and well as the gift of family and friends who have brought me joy on the journey and helped me to be who I am and to get where I am today. My wife just suprised me with a weekend of celebration with my children, family, and friends, looking back with those I’ve shared fond memories in the past and foward to creating more memories with my connections in this most wonderful world.
There have been so many who have touched my life in some way, some just for a little while, and others for much longer. We each have a role to play in lives of so many, sometimes just in the first act or two, other times as companions on much of the journey.
What a friend we have in time
Gives us children, makes us wine
Tells us what to take or leave behind
And the gifts of growing old
Are the stories to be told
Of the feelings more precious than gold
Friends I will remember you, think of you
Pray for you
And when another day is through
I’ll still be friends with youFriends With You – John Denver
Many of you reading this, if you look and listen closely, will see yourself in my music, in my life. I thank you for having that special place in my life and in my heart and look forward to more moments and memories as I head toward my second act. No, I’m not retired yet, but someday… but not to dwell on that day, as it’s always better to focus on today, to live in the moment (which has been part of my traditional blog sign-off – see below).
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,
but today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.
– Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda
Remember then, there is only one time that is important –
Now! It is the most important time because
it is the only time when we have any power.
– Leo Tolstoy
Happiness not in another place, but in this place…
not for another hour, but this hour.
– Walt Whitman
A happy man is too satisfied with the present
to dwell too much on the future.
– Albert Einstein
Write it on your heart that every day
is the best day in the year
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable.
It would be wise to use that time adoring our families,
cherishing our friends, and living our lives.
– Maya Angelou
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
– Albert Einstein
So listen closely, and you’ll find yourself woven into the tapestry of my life:
Live in the moment.
Enjoy the moment.
Love the moment.
Listen to the music!



































































































