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In 2019, following a routine dental check-up, Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine was diagnosed with throat cancer. In his new book, In My Darkest Hour (published on September 24), Mustaine charts his long and often painful journey back to health in vivid detail. In this exclusive extract from the book, he reveals what kept him going during his treatment, including the support of friends and peers such as Ozzy Osbourne, Kiss’ Paul Stanley and his old Metallica bandmate James Hetfield, with whom he had a sometimes fractious history.

After my cancer diagnosis became public, I heard from a lot of people both in and out of the music industry. Ozzy Osbourne reached out. So did Paul Stanley of Kiss. And James Hetfield.

I don’t want this to sound like my getting cancer was the impetus for some sort of cease-fire between Megadeth and Metallica. That fight had been over for years. But wounds leave scars, even after healing, so it would be inaccurate to say that James and I were best buddies. But we have a shared history that will always be deep and profound; I care about him, and I know that he cares about me. Hearing from him just as I was about to begin treatment, when I was at a pretty low point, meant a lot to me. Fuck the drama. Be a human being. And don’t do it for clout or likes on social media. Pick up the damn phone and reach out. Privately. One to one. That’s what James did.

At the time, I was scared and vulnerable. (By the way, anyone facing a cancer battle who tells you they feel otherwise is full of shit. Fear and anxiety are perfectly normal, acceptable responses.) I valued every single positive interaction both before and during – hell, even after – going through cancer treatment. I’m not big on doling out advice, but I’ll say this: if you know someone who has cancer, don’t hesitate to reach out. Don’t let your own discomfort be an impediment to support. We know how you feel – scared for us, scared that you might be next, uncertain about what to say or how to behave, queasy about the prospect of being in the orbit of someone who is sick. But you know what? You can’t catch cancer. And we forgive your awkwardness. Just be there. Be a friend. Be a son or a daughter, a husband or a wife. A father or a son. Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing; if you’re there, if you took the time and made the effort to show up, there is no wrong thing to say. There is only love and support and friendship, and those things play a vital role in the healing process.

By the time of my diagnosis, I had mellowed considerably. As recently as 2010, when I published my first book, I was still one pissed-off motherfucker. A decade later? Not so much. But cancer was a transformative experience in so many ways. Even in the worst of it, I became a more grateful person, which I realize probably sounds kind of weird but is absolutely true. Not once did I ever think, Why is this happening to me? I don’t deserve this. Bad shit happens to people, somewhat randomly and arbitrarily, so I’m much more inclined to think, Hey, why not me?

Even before my diagnosis and recovery, I’d like to think that I was not an ungrateful person, that I had evolved and matured to the point where I could look at the people in my life – my wife and kids, my friends, my bandmates, past and present; the career I had built – and realize that I was a hell of a lot more fortunate than most people. But as soon as I was diagnosed with cancer, something clicked. I realized that I couldn’t beat this thing alone, that I was about to engage in the hardest battle of my life, and that I had an army on my side. I had spent a lot of time – wasted time, really – reflecting on all the shitty things that had happened to me instead of how good things were. And suddenly none of it seemed to matter; none of it was worth an ounce of energy. All that mattered was getting better and having more time with the people I loved, more time to write and perform songs.

More time.

This was my reality check: appreciate what you have, and stop whining and complaining about what you don’t have or what you lost. Take this terrible thing that is happening to you and learn from it, even as it’s ripping you apart.

Extracted from In My Darkest Hour by Dave Mustaine, published on September 25 by Constable. Order it here.

By 1998, the initial wave of nu metal was breaking. Korn’s third record, the aptly named Follow The Leader, became the scene’s first album to top the US charts. It kickstarted a label scramble to sign any nu-adjacent band, in the hopes of scoring the next big commercial behemoth. But unlike their peers in System Of A Down, Linkin Park, Slipknot or Papa Roach, who all emerged in the same general surge, Godsmack didn’t have an immediate impact.

Awash in a turn-of-the-century sea of downtuned riffs, curious facial topiary and just-so frosted tips, their first couple of releases hadn’t boosted them to the A-list. One single changed it all. Specifically written for a 2002 fantasy film featuring then-pro wrestler Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, I Stand Alone propelled the band properly into the big leagues.

“The director, Chuck Russell, was a fan and got in touch with me and said, ‘I want to tell you about this film that I’m doing’,” recalls Godsmack founder, vocalist and rhythm guitarist Sully Erna. “It was The Rock’s debut starring role. I mean, he had done some stuff before, but this was his first lead, that I believe was being considered his breakout role into the film industry.”

The wrestling icon, who would go on to be one of the highest-paid and most successful actors in Hollywood, had made his film debut the previous year with a cameo in The Mummy Returns. Spin-off and prequel The Scorpion King was essentially a vehicle designed to transition The Rock from the ring to the silver screen.

“I already had this body of work that I was working on,” Sully recalls. “I didn’t have any lyrical content or melodies yet, but the more Chuck talked to me, the more he kept using the words ‘he stands alone’. You know, this guy is this big warrior who can slaughter armies, but deep down inside he’s just yearning to be loved and not be by himself.”

“It was kind of a metaphor for me in my life at that point, where I felt like I always stood alone,” Sully continues. “I wrote all the music, I had the vision for the band. It’s a bittersweet thing when you’re kind of the leader, that ‘heavy is the crown’ kind of thing.”

Two decades after the single, when the singer collaborated with director Troy Smith and writer Noah Berlow to produce the 2023 documentary based on his memoir, they titled it I Stand Alone: The Sully Erna Story. Focusing largely on the young Sully’s pre-Godsmack years growing up in Lawrence, Massachusetts, the film doesn’t skimp on his struggles and brushes with criminality.

In one remarkable segment, he recalls a moment when he experienced extreme anger during a fight and pulled the trigger on a shotgun – only to discover it was thankfully unloaded.

“I had been through a lot: crime, drugs, violence, music, women… things that continued to throw us curveballs and take us out at the knees,” Sully says. “We have to learn how to stand back up, as painful as it is, and walk forward again. After so many times and all that pain, you become stronger and bulletproof to a certain degree, and I think that’s when the magic happens. That’s when the opportunities present themselves.”

It was impossible to predict just how big an opportunity writing the theme song to The Scorpion King would be, but Sully was always one for grasping the moment with both hands. Rather than presenting a particular challenge, he found that writing to commission gave him a fresh impetus.

“It was actually refreshing, because sometimes as artists we get stuck in our own habits and patterns,” Sully says. “You start to feel like all your riffs sound the same, all your melodies sound the same, all the lyrical content is about the same shit.”

The result was a song that Sully believed opened up new territory for the band.

“The first thing I did was play it for my friends, like we all do,” he recalls. “The reaction would be the same every time: we’d crank it up. It’s a big, powerful song, but it was the first time we were introducing harmonies into the band. We had a little bit more melody going on, and the song is kind of epic and anthemic. So the song would finish and they would just stare at the at the carpet for a minute in thought. Then they would go, ‘Play it one more time.’ Because no one could wrap their head around it.”

The single was accompanied by a CGI-heavy music video directed by The Brothers Strause, who would go on to direct their own feature films including Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem and Skyline.

“The skeletons, all that stuff was all CGI, but we were really in a desert, I really climbed those rocks and the scenes with The Rock were real,” Sully says. “We did get to meet and hang out for the day and he was as kind as could be. He treated us really well and it was our first time doing a video of that magnitude. I think Universal paid about $750,000 for that video.”

Although The Scorpion King was hardly hailed as a classic, it proved to be absolute box-office dynamite, debuting at No.1 and pulling more than $36 million in its opening weekend. Naturally, that success helped I Stand Alone become a monster-sized hit in its own right.

It reached No.1 on the US Mainstream Rock chart and was certified Gold. It also saw Godsmack nominated for two Grammy Awards, for Best Rock Song and Best Hard Rock Performance. They ultimately lost out to Bruce Springsteen and the Foo Fighters respectively, but Godsmack’s profile had undoubtedly been boosted.

Originally planned as a standalone (no pun intended) release, it was impossible to leave I Stand Alone off Godsmack’s next album. 2003’s Faceless debuted at No.1 on the Billboard 200, knocking Linkin Park’s Meteora off the top spot in the process.

“It solidified the band,” Sully asserts. “When you put out your first record, you’re the new thing, they are discovering you, and there’s, like, this buzz happening. Then there’s an expectation on record number two, and people are paying attention but they’re like, ‘Oh, it’s the sophomore slump’. That album [Awake] actually did really well because of the song Awake, which the US Navy used as their recruitment song. When you hit the third one and go as big as we did, I think that really cements your career. People knew, ‘OK, this band’s going to be around for a little bit.’”

“Around for a little bit” is something of an understatement. The success of Faceless, which would go on to sell more than a million copies, established Godsmack at rock’s – never mind nu metal’s – top table. Arena shows and a huge tour supporting Metallica followed. Sully found himself living the rock star dream he’d pursued since his teenage years.

“Boy, did it ever live up to it!” he laughs. “Those opportunities throw every scenario you’ve ever heard about living a rock star life at you. That’s really when you can get in trouble too, with drugs and alcohol and all the debauchery that goes along with the stereotypical rock star lifestyle.

“Our biggest challenge was keeping each other grounded. You know, we’re four street kids that come from an area of blue-collar workers and from families that were immigrants.

We definitely allowed ourselves to get out of control, but we did the responsible thing when it got really bad, because there were so many times where things were just getting really bad between the drinking, the arguments, the hangovers, the schedule, the exhaustion. We had to bring in a therapist and regain that brotherhood because we were derailing so many times.”

After their own Some Kind Of Monster moment, Godsmack continued strong. Their next two records also hit No.1 in the US, and the following two both went Top 10. Their latest release to date, 2023’s Lighting Up The Sky, broke the Top 20. Throughout it all, I Stand Alone has remained their signature song.

Long-term guitarist Tony Rombola and drummer Shannon Larkin bowed out in 2024, the band initially planning to ride off into the sunset. Their final show was immortalised in new live album Live At Mohegan Sun – complete with I Stand Alone as the expected curtain closer.

However, after a period of reflection, Sully and bassist/co-founder Robbie Merrill decided there was still “some gas in the tank”, and recruited guitarist Sam Koltun and drummer Wade Murff (who was replaced by Mike Mangini on their latest tour). Wherever this new chapter takes them, I Stand Alone will continue to loom large and Sully Erna is fine with that.

“It’s still one of our biggest responses live,” Sully says. “It’s the one song everybody waits for. It’s just a feeling of being proud that we were blessed with a song like that.”

Live At Mohegan Sun is out now via Primary Wave.