Blog

How did you get into metal?

“It was in 1999, the heyday of nu metal. I absolutely fell in love with so many of those bands, especially System Of A Down, Korn, and Slipknot. And then rather than what my friends did, which was basically fall out of love with it, I investigated further and got myself down into the deep metal rabbit hole and discovered all of the subgenres, and I’ve never dropped it, really.”

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in terms of subgenre rabbit holes?

“I don’t necessarily love this, but it makes me laugh a lot – like, anything sort of goblin-based, or anything where the bands put themselves through hell playing for 50 people by wearing gigantic rubber costumes, I absolutely love.

I used to do a show on Radio X, and obviously that is not a metal station, but they would let me, every week, play a 30-second blast of something horrible that I’d found. The other day, I can’t remember the name of the band, but they style themselves as ‘Shrek Metal’ – so it’s all things on Shrek [it’s The Ogre Packet Slammers – Subgenres Ed]. And the song was called Stay Out Of My Swamp.

What I love about metal is it can be hugely silly and hugely ridiculous, or, then you’ll find another band who are the most serious, up their own arses. It’s such a broad genre.”

You’ve had Corey Taylor on your food podcast, Off Menu. What was the best bit of having him on there?

“I think I managed to not sound like an absolute gabbling idiot. I was so nervous, because obviously I was superstarstruck. When I was 14, I queued up at Virgin Megastore on Oxford Street to meet Slipknot. When they came out, I was just walking around – my friend was holding the place in the queue – and I just threw myself at him, and I probably weighed about eight stone more than I do now, so I nearly wiped him out. He’s only a small lad.”

What was your last text with Corey?

“Oh, I don’t know. It was probably a while ago. Corey loves Taskmaster, so he’s got a few questions about Taskmaster now and again.”

What is the most metal meal a person could have?

“A bloody steak, red wine – anything that just looks like you’re actually eating blood, I think. And then a side of thumb tacks. I’m sure there’s a huge amount of vegan metalheads who would massively disagree with me.”

Well apart from Corey, who’s your dream dinner party metal guest?

“Neil Fallon from Clutch. I’ve had the opportunity to meet him a couple of times, and I’ve turned it down, because I don’t want to be a simpering fanboy and he seems like one of the coolest men in the world. Matt Pike’s another one of my absolute metal heroes. I’d love him to come along to a dinner party, maybe. One of my great regrets is that we never got Ozzy on Off Menu. I would have loved to have got Ozzy on Off Menu. So if it’s a dead or alive dinner party, I’m gonna get Ozzy along.”

Would you have the Ozzy hologram?

“I don’t think I would. I find the holograms as a whole quite creepy, and also I don’t want to have dinner with a hologram – I’d rather have a real person there!”

You mentioned Clutch there – you said you’d turned down the chance to meet them. Why?

“I just don’t want to embarrass myself. Years and years ago, I did the warm-up on the Golden God Awards, and Clutch were playing, and I got to introduce them onto the stage, and I got to stand near them – and that was enough for me, I think.

I got to introduce them and Mastodon, which was a huge night for me. But who knows. One day, maybe. One day I’ll be chill enough to meet all of these people.”

You did a metal podcast called Lifers, which was very cool. What was the best piece of wisdom or advice you heard from the musicians?

“My favourite guest on that… Lzzy [Hale] and Dani [Filth] were over Zoom, because it was literally the start of the pandemic, where we hadn’t recorded the final episode, so we had to get a load of different people to talk about longevity in music, and more broadly entertainment. I think it’s an interesting thing to talk about. Especially when certainly in music, you can have these peaks of popularity that can then dip and can settle, and I wanted to speak to people about how you ride those highs and lows out and you just keep going.

I’m always very impressed by bands who just consistently release albums. Some of them might be massively popular, some are less popular, and how do you sustain that through a long career. But people like Lzzy and Dani are pretty popular all of the time, I would say. So I had really good chats with a few other bands who maybe had their peak in the 80s and now they play quite small rooms. It’s just about tuning into the passion that you had when you started doing something, and realising that’s the main reason you’re still doing it, and ignore any sort of success, particularly.”

Which would you pick out as the proper lifers?

“We spoke to Brian [Tatler] from Diamond Head, and I went to his house and we hung out for the day. I found him quite an inspiring dude, to be honest. He’s just a total nerd for the music, and he’s never gonna stop doing it. They were big when they first started, and then they had these little peaks with Metallica covering them on Garage Inc and things like that. He’s like, ‘Yeah, all those things happened, but we’re still going, we just get on with what we do.’I found that, as someone who works in entertainment and wants to do it for a long time, quite an inspiring attitude.”

What was it like visiting him at home? Did he get you a cup of tea and a biscuit?

“Yeah, absolutely. What I found was… metalheads all have massive dogs, gigantic, hairy dogs. I obviously knew this going in, but I think a lot of people who aren’t into metal don’t realise this, that the scarier the music, the nicer and more boring the person. We met so many people who were the most relaxed, sweet people, so it was fun.”

Did Brian have a massive dog?

“Yeah, he’s got a massive dog. There’s a few massive dogs knocking around.”

Apart from you, who do you think is the most metal comedian?

“Well, there’s Andrew O’Neill. Have you seen their show, History Of Heavy Metal? That is the definitive heavy metal comedy show. Joel Dommett likes a bit of metal, but only from 2001. He’s very specific in what he enjoys.”

What does he like?

“The last band I spoke to Joel about was Taproot. I’ve been recommending him some more modern stuff – I recommended some Silly Goose the other day. Anything that’s got that slightly throwback sound to it. I recommended a Callous Daoboys song called Two-Headed Trout. But I don’t know if he listens to it. I think he just goes back and listens to Limp Bizkit again, to be honest.

You can normally get [Off Menu co-host and current Celebrity Traitor James] Acaster into some metal if it’s really weird. Quite often he’ll send me some stuff I’ve not heard of, like weird noise metal, really discordant, quite upsetting to listen to. He likes stuff like that. I’ve been to see High On Fire with Rob Delaney before. He likes his riffs.”

You do The Traitors: Uncloaked TV show, which is the exit interviews for contestants. Which metaller would you put on The Celebrity Traitors?

“I mean, they’d all look good in the cloak, wouldn’t they? I don’t think they’d ever make a metal person a traitor, because it’d be too obvious. Maybe Dani Filth. I feel like Dani’s genuinely funny, like comic-level funny, and so sarcastic. Imagine Dani interacting with national treasures – I think that would be perfect.”

You once saw a man set his public hair on fire, while queuing to see Korn in 2000. Have you seen anything that topped that?

“I don’t know why we’re talking about Cradle Of Filth so much, but I went to see them at the Astoria, and that’s the only gig I’ve been to where there were protesters outside. Actual Christian street protesters telling us to not go in, and that it was Hell in there. And you just wanna go, ‘Come on in, guys! Everyone’s really nice! And it’s so silly, no one’s actually invoking Satan, there is an opera singer in there, there’s fake blood, it’s fun, it’s a laugh, come on!’”

Did you own the Jesus Is A Cunt t-shirt?

“No, I didn’t. Because I’m quite a scared little boy, and I didn’t want to get arrested for a t-shirt. I do have the Raised By Owls t-shirt. Have you seen their take on it? They’ve got one that says, ‘Jesus Probably Isn’t That Bad’.”

Have you seen the Mr Blobby one with the double-ended dildo?

“I’ve also got that T-shirt! I think they’re brilliant and I bought a couple of their T-shirts because I really want to support them. I think they’re doing something really interesting. They’re releasing great music, but also leaning into doing sketches that are genuinely good online. Everyone should try and support them as much as possible.”

Talking of Hell, your new show is called Fresh Hell! What’s it about?

“At the moment, the two big tentpole routines concern me turning 40, and also toilet brushes. But that will change… I hope!”

What’s your idea of Hell?

“It’s certainly not being at a Cradle Of Filth gig. I think my idea of Hell is what purgatory is described as – just a completely empty room with nothing going on, where you just have to sit there with your own brain. No music, no phone, no book, no nothing. Just a totally empty room. Flames and the Devil – at least something’s going on. You can feel something.”

Why should metallers go to it?

“Everyone should come to it, but if you’re a metalhead you know that we share a similar brain, you know we like the same sort of stuff, and we probably like the same sort of jokes. And even if you don’t find me funny, my pre-show playlist is exceptional.”

Name one song in that playlist that is gonna get people going.

“I built it as I go along – I’m probably more dedicated at the moment to the playlist than I am to writing the show. Let me see what we’ve got… Oh wow, I really did add some mad stuff to it. I’ve got Turbo Lover by Judas Priest, I’ve got Mr Crowley, Ozzy Osburne… I’ve got Air Conditioning by Lightning Bolt, Mistress Of Death by Creeper, Electric Messiah by High On Fire… It’s big riffs, and it’s going to be an absolutely party. If you’re a metalhead, get there early for when the doors open, enjoy some of the songs, and then you can leave if you want!”

Tickets for Ed Gamble’s stand-up tour Fresh Hell are on-sale now at his official website. The tour starts in Ipswich on January 30. Ed is currently hosting Celebrity Traitors: Uncloaked which airs on BB1 every Thursday and Friday right after Celebrity Traitors.